Living Life by Mattering, not Measuring

I’m just giving this a try dictating from the treadmill. I had an idea for treadmill talks so that I could work towards my goal of walking or running 2018 km in 2018.

I’m giving myself a couple bonus days at the end of December to get myself kick started and I can tell you it’s kicking my butt and I’m pretty much just walking today.

I started reading present over perfect last night and others then some differences in our stories, of how we grew up, I’m pretty sure I could’ve written the book myself. Not that I am a skilled writer or New York Times bestseller writer but her words are speaking so clearly to my heart it’s almost scary.

Have you ever had a book like that? A book that you read and wonder if they were reading your mind when they wrote it?

So far that is this book for me.

I’ve been reading Laura Casey’s 2018 goalsetting series and it’s strange because I actually have no idea what this year holds for me.

Normally I at least have an inkling an idea whether it’s a year for healing or growth or striving for growing my business or focussing on one thing or another. But the word that keeps ringing in my mind is simply “peace”

It’s not even that exciting of a word. Like shine or glory. Or bazzingga. That actually sounds like a fun word.

But I feel this pressing in my spirit to seek after peace. And the crazy thing is that peace doesn’t seem to be so much strived for; it seems to be found settling in, sitting back relaxing and being patient. All qualities that I lack.

I’m not saying it’s not work… on the contrary. For me finding peace in my heart and daily life is a much bigger ask than say meeting goals of bookings, quotas etc.

So here’s the deal, I already knew that I didn’t feel like striving for big goals this year. Not that I didn’t WANT to, the part of my story that tells me that success is based in numbers pushes hard for these goals always. But as I have been preparing to set goals for 2018, I started writing down things that I have worked for in the past, and they all felt wrong.

Not BAD, not improper, just wrong for me right now.

And that is scary for me. Like big time scary. Because if I don’t measure myself against my big list of goals. How do I know if I’m good enough? How do I know if I am a success? How do I know if I matter?

My amazing physicshiatrist Dr. Wilson often does this mean trick (it’s actually quite smart) of putting things in perspective… by using my love for my children to teach me a lesson.

If your daughter learns her letters faster, do you love her more? If she tries a new dance move and has to try a few times to get there, do you get angry with her? Does her worth get tied up with her size, hair style or what clothes she is wearing!???

Nope! Or gosh I hope not!! Cuz then we can’t be friends…

So do we feel like because we have lived longer our worth is lower? That because we’re not children we don’t matter as much? How does that math work?

This year my biggest goal is living like I matter. Like I’m valuable and important regardless of the to do list.

I’m still going to set goals.

I’m style going to make to do lists.

I’m not sure how I would function without them, but they aren’t going to be my measurement of the value of my life.

How do you want to measure 2018? Or have you thought about it?

Just a thought!